Cheating Creates Interest! by Ian Gawler

Having written many articles for the Foundations newsletter over many years, it has been remarkable to observe that the biggest response ever has come from the last Editorial "Why not cheat?"  Clearly there is a great deal of interest in this key question.

The responses were numerous, expansive and remarkably well thought out.  Insightful.  Many thanks to all who have contributed so far.  

Here are some key points with actual quotes from the responses:

Clearly there is not one single answer.  Firstly we are all weak creatures who find it difficult to commit and stay committed.  Second, we have different personality types, some seek and live comfortably within strict (Black & White guidelines) such as those who are drawn towards fundamentalist religions.  Others find this approach very restrictive. Third, there is ego involved, with a common human tendency when told what to do and how to do it, there is an urge to do the opposite.

The Doctor will make me better

The doctor will make me better was the attitude.  Capped with this was also the attitude of the local health professionals who, with the exception of a few, were very much against us.

Feeling undeserving

Some people are not aware of the fact that they feel on a deep level that they do not deserve to be well, or to recover, "because it might be Gods will that I die."

Enjoying being sick

Some even like being sick and attended the group sessions just to regale everyone with the story of how bad this cancer really is, they would come for a few weeks and then return at the start of a new session to tell the whole story again.

Self Love

I think it's quite simple.  Yet not very.  From my limited yet consistent observations of people facing serious illness and other life challenges, it all comes down to Self Love.  Capital S.  Capital L.

Knowledge and Experience helps

Knowledge has been a key to everything.  As time has progressed I have learnt more and adapted it a little to suit myself and I find these changes to my life very satisfying.  I started to feel the benefits in well being and happiness, and with time, healing.  When medical tests (MRI) confirmed this healing it was wonderful.

Maintaining this lifestyle does require discipline, it is a marathon.  Support from friends and family is indispensable.  Time passing also helps enormously as understanding develops and benefits accrue.  Belief in what you are doing is essential and knowledge supports belief.


Link with parents

I think people do internalize a relationship of self-care from their early relationships with parents and if this has been fraught in a variety of ways - neglectful, persecutory, narcissistically inclined - then it is very difficult for people to take up the response-ability to do this self care for themselves.

As is obvious, virtually all patients are up against mainstream beliefs, the full force of cultural wisdom, and the beliefs of everyone they know.  My oncologist told me "We can't cure you;  we aim to keep you as well as possible for as long as possible".  There are very few beacons which say "You can do this!" 

The lack of deep, visceral, belief creates a distressing inner tension and turmoil; it is incredibly hard to remain positive.
It took me two full years of hard, conscious, work to acquire that deep-seated belief.  At the course you said, "This stuff works, folks, but you've got to actually do it".  I wrote that down, but I didn't really need to, because it was burned into my brain.

I used those simple words of your on many, many occasions.  Not to spur me on to action (for I've never been short on action!), but to reassure myself, because the issue for me has always been belief.

Trying too hard

I tried so hard that I nearly lost all, for my trying was not born of inner conviction, but rather was simply drawing on precious reserves of nervous energy.  Juices, meditation sessions, healthy meals - all were done in order to tick the list.  But of course it didn't stop there - exercise, daily sun bathing, growing vegies, researching, reading (to spur myself on) etc etc etc.  It all became something of a nightmare because I was trying so hard.  I would stand in the kitchen and feel myself go woozy and overwhelmed, just with this sense of trying so hard.

I suspect that it is much more common for you to deal with people who don't comply because of all sorts of reasons other than the one of trying too hard!! Trying too hard leads to exhaustion, and consequently rejection of the thing that causes the exhaustion.  So from my perspective, then, I feel that there needs to be some awareness around our drivers.  That an exploration of the emotional/subconscious journey can perhaps be as critical to survival as diet and meditation.  Obviously, the more self-awareness, the more understanding of why we do or don't 'comply'.

Finding balance

There is a happy 'ending'.  I am now joyfully exploring the world of balance, and am excited at the prospect of finding a completely new way of being, one that is built neither on hopelessness nor teeth-gritting determination, but on a more peaceful, healthful, going-with-the-flow.  It is already a much more beautiful place to be and, surprise, surprise, it is no harder from this position to 'comply' than it is from the position of whip-whip drive-drive gotta-do gotta-do.

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