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Inspiring Stories
Alisons's experience of the Life and Living Retreat
The exquisite, rich and fluid sounds of the harp surround me as I lie on the floor in the large octagonal room overlooking lush bushland. The fullness of the sound totally envelops me as even the floorboards on which I lie, resonate with the timbre of this magnificent instrument. Outside the night sky is deep velvet blue and seems alive with the light from a million stars. This superb music washes over me, relaxes me, soothes me, takes me to other places. I am lying with thirty seven other people on the floor of the Meditation Sanctuary at The Gawler Foundation retreat in the magnificent Yarra Valley.
I have arrived several days earlier, and as I step out of the car the rain has stopped and the freshness, fragrance and crispness of the country air embraces me. I am overwhelmed by a myriad of different greens; different textures, colours and shapes of the many distinct trees, bushes and shrubs and once again I am in awe of the beauty of nature all around me.
The group of people at the retreat is as diverse and different a group as one is ever likely to meet. People have come from literally all over the world to attend this retreat. Sheldon from New York City, Hilary from Durban, South Africa, Karen from Christchurch, New Zealand, and from all over Australia. We begin by introducing ourselves. Jim lives and works on a sugar plantation in North Queensland; Timothy lives in Perth and works on an off-shore oil rig. Jeremy has worked as a counsellor with refugees. Zoe, in her early 20’s with dreadlocks, works with homeless youth. Different people, different ages, different stages of life, however there is one common theme, one connecting thread amongst us all – cancer.
We are privileged to have Ian Gawler, who founded the centre, involved with our programme and within just one hour of arrival, he is talking to us about hope. Anything, everything is possible. As we introduce ourselves I look around. Many people have had cancer for years; others have been recently diagnosed. Some participants have been in remission, others have aggressive metastases in many places within their body. Hope. Anything, everything is possible. Ian talks about choice and the smorgasbord of choices available to us; how to seek and gain a sense of direction regarding one’s disease. He talks about gaining an inner peace of mind independent of what is happening all around, independent of the cancer diagnosis. I become aware of the fact that for some participants, this programme represents their last chance for survival and health. This programme offers hope to some participants in what has been deemed by other professionals as a hopeless situation. Ian is offering lessons for life, lessons for cancer patients and always hope, always optimism. Anything, everything is possible.
We are taught to meditate, and every day we meditate twice a day, in the morning before breakfast and in the evening. Meditation is the opportunity to open our attention to the present moment, to still our excessively-thinking minds. Our complex lives are constantly dealing with the past – using our memories, and the future – using our imagination. Meditation is the opportunity to be in the present, to become aware of our thoughts, feelings and emotions. Accompanying meditation, numerous physiological and biochemical changes occur within our body and it is these changes which facilitate the healing process. Meditation impacts positively on many of our body systems. It enables improvement in the immune system, tissue and cell repair and digestion. It impacts in a positive way on muscular tension and blood pressure problems. For some participants, conventional medicine has been unable to turn the tide of their disease. Meditation is healing from within and through meditation participants learn to become empowered, to try to gain control over their disease. We learn that meditation offers participants the opportunity to have some control over their destiny through connecting with the present moment of experience. The opposite of meditation, stress, has the reverse impact on our body systems.
The power of the mind; the importance of positive thinking. We are taught how the mind can be used specifically to direct healing within the body. If we totally believe in what we are doing, it can become self-fulfilling. The importance of conviction and of embracing everything that we do; of using the mind to commit to a course of action, and to how we do things. Truly believing that every day is a good day; every chemotherapy day is a good day and will help to heal.
Those people who have the best outcomes in both quality and quantity of life are those who are actively involved with their own treatment and management. The importance of being proactive regarding different options and taking responsibility for one’s own healing is discussed. As the programme unfolds, I become increasingly aware that many of the participants are here as they have made that conscious choice not to succumb to the inevitability of their disease. They are trying to better understand the aetiology and nature of their disease and in so doing, somehow redefine it, manage it, control it. There are no victims here. As with many difficult situations throughout life that get thrown one’s way, there are choices as to how to deal with that situation. These inspiring, courageous and empowering people are trying to integrate and manage the disease within their lives on their terms; they aim to be in control, to call the shots; not the cancer. This retreat is about empowerment, it is about courage and it is about hope and optimism; anything, everything is possible.
We learn about the range of lifestyle factors that can change the inevitability of a fearful diagnosis. A holistic, integrated approach is required. Lifestyle opportunities are to be integrated with conventional medical treatment. Every participant has actively embraced their medical treatment and is seeking to have a constructive, productive relationship with their oncologist.
A key component of these lifestyle factors is food. The food at the retreat is strictly organic and wholefood plant based diet. At the commencement of every meal we have silence for a few minutes as a time for reflection. A time to consider that the food has been cooked with love and that it will help to nourish and to heal. It is a time for contemplation, a time for prayer, a time for hope. My family now has a time for reflection at the commencement of their meals. I emphasise to the children to consider their day and what they could have done differently or better, to say a prayer for those in need, and how this meal has been lovingly prepared and will nourish us. Ian Gawler tells us that our approach to food should be therapeutic. Food is not passive; it is not simply to “fill us up.” Having the right state of mind when eating is important – the food that we eat has vitality and energy and we need to be cognizant of the benefits to be obtained from food.
There are a wide variety of foods that have been identified to have anti cancer properties, predominantly fruit and vegetables. We discuss how to create a cancer unfriendly environment within our own bodies and those products that will hinder the spread of cancer.
We attend an invigorating session discussing lifestyle factors that can significantly affect outcome regarding both quality and quantity of life. What we can do for ourselves to change the destiny of our disease. The importance of social support in improving outcomes is emphasised. We are shown research that demonstrates that patients who attend a weekly support group demonstrate improved lifestyle factors – such as decreased pain and increased energy. I ponder the love, support, and care that I have received every single day following diagnosis from my exceptional community. My beautiful community is my support group and continually demonstrates to me their willingness to share the journey, to ease the pain, to help to dissolve the fear. This exceptional community has empowered me and helped to change the direction of this disease.
We discuss stress, and how prolonged stress leads to wear and tear on so many of our body systems. Learning to control stress in our lives is essential to healing. We often cannot control an event; however, we can control our attitude towards that event. On our last day we attend a closing ritual and are asked a number of questions. One of these is “What do I want to leave behind?” I tell the group that I want to leave behind the fact that I now no longer want to get stressed by things over which I have no control and cannot change.
Exercise, managing stress, sufficient sleep, eating balanced meals, not smoking, eating breakfast, and not overworking; all simple and healthy lifestyle behaviours have been shown to improve health outcomes.
As the days unfold and trust develops within the group, we talk about the positive aspects of having cancer. Cancer can change lives for the better. Deidre shares with us her life prior to diagnosis. She was unemployed with four children and was very unhappy. She drank a lot and had a series of broken relationships. Her life was out of control. Diagnosis has enabled her to focus on the positive aspects of her life. She has stopped drinking and she is looking after her physical and emotional self a lot better. Her life now has more meaning and purpose. Cancer has enabled Deidre to find a richer and more meaningful path.
Following my own diagnosis, I was determined to turn the cancer on its head. I was unflinching in my resolve to change a devastating and fearful situation into an experience of hope, growth and opportunity. The future for all of us is uncertain. However, I am now looking at the present, and the richness and beauty in every single day. Every day I have an opportunity to be fulfilled, to grow, to be enriched. I have learned that every day I can make a difference to my life, and the lives around me. I have discovered new skills. I never, ever considered myself able to write prior to diagnosis – I have always been passionate about Maths. I am doing some writing now and enjoying it and have even enrolled in a short term writing course! Cancer has enabled me to become aware of new skills; it has enabled me to forge new beautiful and meaningful relationships with so many people; it has enabled me to teach my children resilience, that they may appreciate every day and to realize how very privileged we all are.
Every night, after the programme has concluded, a group of us go on a night time walk. The cold is bracing and we are dressed warmly. As we walk, I am totally overwhelmed, once again by the absolute beauty of nature. The stillness and quietness is serene, in fact it is so quiet, that we can hear the quiet. Occasionally it is interrupted by the barking of an owl or movement of a kangaroo. Through misty fields we walk under the light of a full moon. We stand and enjoy the smorgasbord of colours before us. We see a palate of the different greys of the hills; in the valleys the cream of the mist, the deep rich velvet blue of the sky and the blackness of the silhouetted trees. A magical image greets my eyes, and I feel so very blessed. Anything, everything is possible.
by Alison Jones.